Sororities

Alright, girls,
Come 2nd semester, you will all have the "chance of a lifetime" to rush for a sorority. You must rush all of them, and then they will "mutually" eliminate you.
Here is a basic summary of all of the sororities on Duke campus. We use "Duke campus" loosely, since sororities don't have housing, otherwise it would be considered a "brothel". But that's beside the point.
First we'll start off with the "core four". The core four are considered to be the best sororities on campus. However, it's more like the "core three" now. If you want to get into one of these sororities, get your ass-kissing chapstick ready.


"Core Four"

Pi Phi:
"Pi Phi or die!" is one of the terms used within the sisters/their fuck buddies. It's strangely appropriate, since if you're not in Pi Phi, your social life just might die at Duke. Pi Phi consists of the richest, hottest girls at Duke, or just the most social climbing, because there are some ugly ass bitches in this sorority. They just might have had to lick fucking clits to get in, because their appearance sure as hell didn't get them into Pi Phi.
Pi Phi was previously tied with Tridelt as the best sorority on campus, until this past rush (2007). They got all the girls they wanted (mostly brunettes). Pi Phis are known to be the "nice" hot girls. Don't let them fool you though. They'll be nice to you, just long enough to turn around and talk shit behind your back. Pi Phis primarily fuck SigNus, Kappa Sigs, and a lot of athletes (basketball team, lacrosse team, etc.).
For example: One of the newest Little Miss Pi Phis likes to fuck the entire basketball team. She has gotten with bballer #1, bballer #2(even though she denies it), and causes lots of trouble within the basketball team.
Bballer #1: "Yo, you stole my bitch"
Bballer #2 (who isn't that bright of a guy): "Huh??"
Bballer #1: "I fucking hate you"
Of course, that might not exactly be how it went down, but one thing is for sure, Little Miss Pi Phi DID go down.
If you're slutty, or just want to be "cool", Pi Phi's the place for you.



Delta Delta Delta (Tridelts):
Tridelts differ from Pi Phis in 2 ways: they're bitchy to your face and they're blonde.
Their pledge class this year actually sucked. They only got about 7 of the girls they wanted, and threw out a lot of snap bids (they just let girls in that they didn't actually want). They were known to do a lot of coke, but I think the queens of coke this year are the Pi Phis.
Tridelts score such cock as: basically the same as the Pi Phis, because Tridelts are a lot sluttier than Pi Phis are. Tri-delt, who hasn't?
That pretty much sums up the tridelts.



Kappa Kappa Gamma:
Oh, Kappas are such sweet Southern belles. But seriously, they're bitches. They're jealous that they couldn't into Pi Phi or Tridelt, so they try to steal all their men. Example: A little Kappa is out one night, wasted off of her ass. A real shitshow, if you will. She sees a hot basketball player, one of the same ones little Miss Pi Phi got with. She cuts the chit-chat.
Little Miss Kappa: "Hey, I want to fuck you!"
Bballer #2: "Okay."
And that's how the Kappas roll.



Kappa Alpha Theta:
They should not be in the core four, and they really aren't any more. They suck.

Non-"Core Four"

Zeta Tau Alpha:
Climbing the social hierarchy, Zetas should replace the Thetas in the Core Four. Zetas consist of a lot of athletic girls, but they know how to party. They hang out with a lot of the male athletes, including the football team and soccer team, thus bringing the best cock to the parties.



Delta Gamma:
DG is made up of normal girls who just love to party. If you don't get into the core four, but you do get into DG, don't worry. You'll have tons of fun.



Alpha Delta Pi:
Nice girls. They don't party too much, but they hang out with each other a lot. They spend most of their time throwing date functions and mixers (parties with frats). They did throw a very successful party at Shooter's this past spring, which might have brought up their social standing a bit. ADPis are a mix of cute girls and unattractive girls. But, it really doesn't matter because they love to get with SigEps and AEPis.



Alpha Phi:
Alpha what? This sorority exists? Oh, okay...



Chi Omega:
Haha. ChiOs. Hahaha. They think they're cool. They're really just pretending. They probably go home and slit their wrists at night because their lives suck.
To summarize ChiOs: Ewww. They are some ugly bitches. Ew. I don't even think frats will touch them. Not even PhiDelts or Deke. Well, maybe they would..while extremely drunk...but they don't drink, so the ChiOs are pretty much screwed (figuratively, of course)



AOPi:
Omg. AOPi. Hahaha. AOPi=the biggest social stigma a girl could ever put on herself in her life. AOPi accepts all the girls rejected by the aforementioned sororites. AOPis could never get any guys in their lives, but it doesn't matter because they're all lesbians anyway.
Lesson to be learned here: DON'T JOIN AOPI!!! EVER!!!! (Unless you love fat pussy)



Independents:
You know what, I'm going to be honest here, and say that it really doesn't matter that much if you are an independent. You can still go to every party if you make the right friends. It's a lot better to be independent than in a shitty sorority. Consider that. And, if you are hot, you can still get the same ass as the Pi Phis and Tridelts.